This is your LIFE

 

Do what you LOVE, and do it OFTEN.

Just like any other family, especially those with new kids, we are a regular family trying to live within a budget. And I work very hard to not give into impulse buys, but this one thing had stayed on my mind for a long time. Since I read this manifesto, I wasn’t able to take it off my mind. The words got so ingrained in me, that I would re-play it in my mind every time I thought I couldn’t do something, or feared a new challenge, or just when things would take a sour turn professionally. It stayed really close to my heart. It has given me strength, hope and courage.

So, finally I give in and buy my very own poster and get it all ready for office. I spend long afternoons at work, so I figured this would be my compass and anchor from hence forth. I work for a homeless shelter, and words cannot express how I feel everyday. It has taken me a LONG time to figure out what my purpose has been, and to say, I am off my traditional career path would be an understatement! I know, I am still looking and searching, but now I can see possibilities. Anyway, as this poster made its way to my office, it got quite some glances. But one of our shelter residents, a good friend of mine or so I think, stood there and read it out, while I nudged him a little as the wordings are not linear in any sense. After he read it, he quietly nodded and smiled.

We walked back to my office quietly, and he helped me hang it up… each of us in our own world of thought. And I knew in that instant that for a homeless person who has suffered a long time in life and seen Hunger, Poverty, Disease, Loneliness, Confinement… my wise manifesto meant NOTHING. Life, Love, Passion, Dreams, Travel, Job are truly, the luxurious problems of the middle class, and educated. We should be lucky to have the problems we think we have! But in some way, my manifesto did not fail me today, in its own way, it had already encapsulated the essence of this moment for me…

“Open your mind, arms and heart to new things and people. We are united in our differences.”

Of Millionaires…

… and Slumdogs. 

Some times, its funny how unaware people are about the world around them. You really cannot blame them or their life styles, everyone has a right to live the life they wish or the one that makes them happy. Especially when you are born and raised in an affluent country, you just tend to view life, relationships, money in a different way. Yes, there are still so many who venture out, read, travel, see, help, reach out, empathize with others living much different, poorer lives. Thankfully, I have friends from both these mindsets and it is always interesting to see the effects of my lineage has on them. Living in Bavaria, amongst these real simple people, who have big houses, rich living rooms, wonderful coffee machines, huge gardens, and patios to lounge upon on quiet summer afternoons, there is suddenly some commotion of one kind. Call it Slumdog Millionaire. 

Slumdog movie has had varied effects on so many people, and the way they relate to me. Not always nicer or kinder, but a vague acknowledgement that a sadness exists and we are all so lucky to have the life we have now, here. Suddenly, some of my quiet, luxury loving friends are shaken to have seen real slums in Mumbai, though in a movie. “It ain’t a movie set?” “Why does she die?” “Is religion so defining ‘even’ now?” I was having coffee yesterday after my workout, and my friend asked me if I had watched this Oscar movie. I nodded and waited. She was almost teary eyed, “Do these slums really exist?” “Are children really live liking this?” And quietly, she said, she never would have believed that, it would be ‘this’ terrible. We sit there in the bright room, with its red leather upholstered chairs, sipping our expensive cappuccinos, lost in our own thoughts. Different thoughts, worlds apart. 

A couple of weeks ago, I was having ‘Brotzeit’ ‘mid-day brunch’ very popular in Bavaria, with a couple of colleagues. People have a light something between breakfast and lunch everyday, and as we sat there sipping fruit teas and munching some ‘bredzen’ ‘pretzel’, my good friend asked me, “Have you seen that Indian movie?” Who needs a name, right? “Do they really do that to children?” “Take out eyes asking them to beg, and take their money” I nod. And we are all quiet, and go on drinking our teas and munching more. And my friend looks up at me and we both smiled sadly. Quite some long time ago, my Chinese friend watched the movie and commented, “Why are people fighting over the movie in India?” “I don’t know, I really don’t. I watched the movie when it was another unknown something before it became an Oscar frenzied hit!” “People don’t like portraying India as ‘slums’, and calling a ‘dog’ is not ok with them.” ” I thought it was a fantastic movie” He loved the movie. Nothing about the poverty or illiteracy, we both know how it is.  

At the other end however, people directly assume that I come from a very rich family, with tons of money. Every time, they assume that and say it aloud, I feel like smacking them on their back with a pillow. I am not the violent kind, if you hadn’t noticed. My only thought when I encounter this assumption, “Why am I sitting here amongst you all, if I had the luxury and nothing to work for?” Anyways, as I say, there are always people who go beyond to argue their point of view. “You come from a rich family.” “I do?” “You didn’t come from the slum, did you?” I grit my teeth, roll my eyes, and shake my head. Perceptions take so little time to form, but stay long enough to not only make judgements, but also pass them on like flyers for a free concert of a band no one ever heard of.

Food and Friends

I have been out most of today, I went out with a couple of friends for lunch. I am hardly the person who goes out with people on a regular basis. For me, it takes an extra effort to do it, and today I took that extra effort. It’s almost the nth time I have been invited to some thing, and I try to slip away every time. I just got tired of running away. It’s not like I am anti-social, but I think I have phases, but almost all my phases prefer solitude or someone I am close with. Intimate conversations, just hanging around, cooking together, talking about life, and love, sharing experiences over meals, or coffee and those things bring in a lot of joy when I am with someone close to me. And with others, I don’t know or with acquaintances, sometimes it feels like an effort; I just feel alone at such times. But isn’t it all life is about, moving out of your comfort zone, testing waters beyond, discarding old impressions, creating new ones and living every moment. So, I went. 

We drove to this real nice city, about an hour or so and had some Indian food. This is the second time I am in a Indian restaurant here in Germany, first when dad came here to visit me. I thought feeding him sandwiches, cakes, and salads wouldn’t look too great on the report card he would present to mom! Second time for a year or more, I have lived here. I would say, not bad! The food was pretty bland even for me, whose tolerance to spice has come down drastically over the last couple of years. And I am not a Indian food enthusiast, when I visit or travel to a new place, and people ask me if I want to eat Indian food, I look at them strangely. I just don’t get it! If I need Indian food I would cook something at home, maybe ten times healthier minus three times tastier. But I am always trying to see something new, taste something local and vegetarian if possible. I guess, people are just trying to make you feel comfortable and at home, staying like a million miles away from home, can’t really blame them. 

It’s always an interesting experience when I visit, Indian restaurants in different countries, US, Germany and LOL, once in Hongkong. It’s amazing the aura they create inside, I would bet that not even in India do they decorate and light up the place like the way they do it here. Of course, it is all about wooing customers to come in and keep on coming. The lamps, the statues, the carpets, the colorful hangings, the antique feel, I think if it were possible, they would manage to get the camels and elephants in too! And even the menu, for me, is so interesting. I am always trying to see how they explain Indian intricate cooking in German, it’s amazing! They make you feel like, the chicken, veggies, whatever is almost created in heaven, and just brought down to earth, for your surreal experience alone. I am not condemning anything, and I sincerely hope I am not misread here; but I guess all my Chinese friends are sitting, eating Chinese food in all these other countries shaking their head in plain disbelief and amusement as well. But hands down, after such a heavy meal, nothing beats our Chai, with spices and ginger to finish it all off. Period. 

Anyway, after the meal, we went out and walked around the river. My friends are Bulgarian, and they have this tiny 5-month old baby. I am in love with children, kids, small babies, toddlers, anything and everything that resembles gurgles and toothless smiles. Even the slightly bigger ones are ok. It’s always a pleasure to look after the baby, I want to sit around it, talk to it, and keep putting my face close enough to make it all suffocating, but it’s all fun. So, as you might guess, all I remember from this day, is tiny ‘Victor’ gurgling away each time I spoke to him, ‘staring’ at half clad women dressed in low cut saris on the menu (which of course his dad denies vehemently!) and grabbing my rings to take a quick look and lick. It was a fun day.

After that, we drove back, and as it was evening by the time we entered our non-descript village. We went to our friend’s place, baked some simple cake and shared it over hot tea. We just sat in the living room, making conversation till our stomachs were about to burst and I walked back home in the dark. All the while, I was happy, it’s fun to have children, to nurture, to grow along side, to be a parent, to teach lame things, to see their antics and find it funny and yet be proud. I think in some vague way, children bring out the best in you, and they balance you in and out. On that note, Have a fab week.

Quit or Not

It’s been a quiet week, since my last post. No more angry outbursts or silly antics. I have been busy, tired and falling into a routine. For a while now, I have been thinking about quitting my German classes ‘Deutsche Kurs,’ it just gets so hectic, and I hardly get to do all the things I want to do. I have classes 4 days a weeks, for 3 hours each. On top of it, the assignments and tests, just somewhere everything ceases to be fun. I literally run from work to classes, and back home, and on some days, squeezing in my workouts at the gym. I leave early around 7ish in the morning and come back home some late 9ish in the evening. And the stuff I carry with me to work, my gym-bag, my Kurs bag, my normal bag/ purse, and my lunch bag! People must think I am moving in or out of my home every day! And I carry all these inside, because otherwise, they all freeze up in the car in this cold chilly weather.

Oh, don’t get me wrong, I love being busy, as long as my mind is occupied and thinking the right things, I am fine. All the more better, when I don’t have to churn weird thoughts which drive me insane! But sometimes, I just wish I had a little more time on hand during week days, when I can light up my candles, pull up my fleece and curl up with a book! I don’t want to drive at crazy speeds on winding roads in dark, snowy wet weather. On such days I crave for some warm blankets, hot soup and a good book. But after a lot of thought, this one took me almost 2 weeks, but I finally decided not to quit; yes of course understanding German is a skill, but what did it for me, were my friends. I study with a bunch of people, we are about 10 or so, we are a mixed bunch – Russians, some from Hungary, Bosnia, Ukraine, Bulgaria, Poland (now, I actually know where these places are in a map which in itself is an achievement for me!) Iran, Vietnam and me, the Indian.

It’s mesmerizing, the only language that bonds us in German. There is nothing else, just one or at most 2 people speak a little bit of English, and some times my Russian friends lose themselves in explaining to one another. But other than that, as a group, we come together in this new language which binds us all. With our broken skills we manage to converse, communicate, discuss problems, share anecdotes, poke fun, check each other’s intellect and test scores, share jokes, laugh our eyes out, celebrate birthdays with cakes and coffee, respect everyone’s opinions, share our stories, listen and most importantly, just be there for one another! We really don’t go out or make extensive plans for weekends, we all are too busy with everything happening, but those hours we spend time together is a bonding experience. Our weaknesses and strengths are simply accepted, no questions asked. I am supposedly the smart one, though I have no idea how they figured that one (surely not my test scores or home-works) and some times the clown. I manage to make everyone smile and keep chugging through everyday, and some days, the classes seem so long and dragging that the teacher, who herself is some 25 something, has to snap us out making us play some silly games, and asking interactive questions. See, how could I have just walked out of something that I am absolutely in love with! So, I will stick on at least for a month and take it from there.

It’s dark and snowing, my plans to get out and head to the gym will remain exactly that, as plans. Tomorrow hopefully will be a brighter day…