Trials and Tribulations

Just like every writer I have had the pleasure to read or hear about… I struggle with writing. So, yesterday my best friend in this whole wide world, my husband said shared something very poignant and quoted Hemingway,

“All you have to do is write one true sentence. Write the truest sentence that you know.”

So, in that very sense, I write this post.

Yes, we blinked and our little girl just turned a year old. 

I don’t know if there’s any other truest statement I can think of at this moment. Time truly flies. And that feeling became overwhelmingly real last Thursday, and in the wee hours, as I stood by her bed, and watched her slowly snoring facing her back to me with her legs tucked in, a miniature me … plain amazed at how this little ‘being’ has made her way into the deepest recesses of our hearts. All I could think of was the joy, and sadness… profound sadness that this little girl has grown, and her newborn days are slowly becoming a memory. It made me sad, and tears rolled by. Maybe it was just the realization that time moves so quickly, or maybe this toddler will be far different than the innocent baby that would lay there hours together without as much as a peep, or just the fact that our own age catches up with us so quickly, and being reminded of my own mortality or maybe just the plain hormones of a mother… I cried, in sheer joy. I thanked the Lord for being ever so grateful to bless us with this child… I spoke to my mother at the other end of this world, with tears flowing… my tears made up for the words that didn’t come out of my mouth. My tears thanked her for all the patience and love, and joy and care she had given unconditionally all these years, and silently apologized for all the mistakes, and sadness I had in turn given her.

Trials and tribulations we all go through as parents, but yet, we would not give up any of it to have it any other way!

Repost: C for Cloudy Afternoons

And just like that, I mysteriously found my missing post embedded in my WP app … Wow! …

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It has been a really long time since I wrote, time has been flying in the real sense. Mother’s Day passed by, and so did my birthday. The fun thing about having kids is the realization that your birthday doesn’t matter any more, you happily give it away to revel in those of your children… And really, if it were up to me, I wouldn’t make even Mother’s day a big deal – but as this was my first ever, it was special! The last few months as a mother has taught me a lot of things about myself, and each day I discover something new – small things make me smile, sunshine brings laughter, a hug means so much, family and friends are special, nursery rhymes and stories fill my head, and little silly things don’t carry as much meaning any more… God makes us parents to make sure we come through the whole circle of life, become wise and pay it forward in love for generations to come, just like our parents did for us! … I am thankful everyday for this blessing, some times a challenge, and some times a joy. I love it!

Summer will start in a couple of weeks, Spring has been good. I am finally getting out a few mornings to get a little run in, or work out really early when the whole world is quiet. As Thoreau said, “Every morning was a cheerful invitation to make my life of equal simplicity, and I may say innocence, with Nature herself.” – it sure is when you get out and have all those flowers blooming, and the birds chirping just for you. I have always been a better person when I have risen early, as a child, as a teenager and as an adult… it’s only now, I am developing this wisdom of appreciation and realization about myself. People say, “with age comes wisdom”, I say “not always”… you need to work at it, to keep your spirits intact and feel the joy in the chaos of everyday! …

As I sit down to pen some random thoughts here, I look out of my storm door at the beautiful cloudy afternoon…my pet stares back at me to be let back in, there’s only so much ‘fetch’ she can play with my husband! … while he works around the yard getting ready for the summer. My little one, after an oil massage and a hot bath, is dreamily snoozing with a toy as large as her, if not larger! It’s quiet and the fan swivels in the corner… there’s nowhere else I would rather be.

Monday Thoughts

Truth be told, I really felt “real bad” when I lost my previous post. You would say, it was just a post!… I know, I keep telling myself the same thing – but I spent a lot of time feeling sad before I drifted off to a restless sleep last night and my thought the first thing in the morning was the very same thing, and it still hurt. I had to literally sit down and flush it out of my mind and system. I don’t know if I feel the terrible sense of loss when I lose something I ‘paid’ for, of course the big things make me cringe just because of the money I wasted away by not taking good care! But I have come to really treasure my days, and moments that I get to spend being truly ‘alive.’ Not everyone know how blessed they are, and sometimes people just get carried away in the moment of anger, or fury, or just frustration. This blog is just a mirror for me when I am so full of myself and get into that ‘complain’ mode – because this re-anchors me to who I am inside, and what really matters!

I try to write when I am thoughtful, inspired, thankful, in joy, in spirit, in love – because really when it comes down to it, why does it really matter when we are annoyed with someone or something, how does that add any value to self or anyone who’s just trespassing this blog. It doesn’t. Focusing on things that don’t matter is such a complete drain of energy. And there are endless things in this world that will get us there any way… don’t you think?

Anyway, I am just back from work, and sipping my coffee and munching down a toast. I realize how little coffee I drink these days, there was a time in life when I used to drink anywhere between 4-5 cups, I guess it was just my art of coping with life…which I don’t need anymore. My little one is asleep after snacking on her crunchy snacks, she’s the center of our world these days… as soon as I get off work, I have a huge smile on my face and my heart strings literally pull me in the direction of my baby… motherhood/ parenthood never ceases to amaze me. To which my older friends always laugh, “Wait till she starts talking back.” Ha!

Quiet Ponderings

As I sit here with my hot tea and a book, while trying to entertain my eight month old, I realize how big she has gotten! Children bring a new sense of understanding to this world, they make you realize the responsibility you have been given, the blessing that has been granted and also the irreplaceable joy and bond that only you can share with this little one… some times, all at the same time. She smiles, fusses, giggles, talks to herself, cries once in a while, explores all her surroundings till she finds her little fingers or toes to grab onto and after a minute fidgets with her bib and slowly in pure frustration, tries to pacify herself in her tiny rocking chair. I normally do not have the joy of observing her this closely as either I am running errands inside or outside the house, trying to finish a couple of mini projects for work, or just getting ready for another busy work as full time working parents. But truth be said, when your baby gets sick, the rest of the world can just wait…

Poor thing has fever since last night, and has not been herself at all! The ear infection along with the high temperature can make the best of us act as babies! But really, I cannot complain – we have had a fabulous week of Spring. We have explored a lot of mini trails, parks and playgrounds, went on walks interspersed with jogs, tried and tested our new running stroller in the neighborhood – it has been a wonderful week with lot of activities under our belts! Our pet enjoys these walks with the baby, because not only does she get to enjoy outdoors but also gets the freedom to bark at every single object that comes close to the baby without mom screaming her head off – that has to be fun!! I need to pinch myself – we are already in mid April! Wow!